Sad

I am really really sad today. A new chapter in my life has just begun. Unfortunately, it means that I have lost a good friend. It is really depressing. I know that I will be OK, and the future is promising. It is just hard right now. We just were not meant to be. I just wish that things could have been different. I will miss this person for a long time. I will always care about the person, but I need to distance myself. I cannot be friends. It becomes too confusing for me because I will always have certain feelings for this person. At this point, I do not know if I will ever stop loving him. Maybe I am just meant to be the old crotchity cat woman in the neighborhood. The good thing is that I haven't eaten anything to feed the loneliness and sadness!

Anyway, I haven't paid attention to my eating at all. However, I am back on track today. Tomorrow, I plan on just having cereal for breakfast and soup for lunch. I need to start watching my spending and I can buy soup for $1.29 at the work cafeteria. :) As long as I stick to a broth based soup, I will be good to go!

Enough of my depressing rantings. Have a great week! Tomorrow is weigh-in day.

I am not very good at posting, am I? Well, last week I gained 2 pounds, which was very much expected. This week, I lost 1 pound of that gain. I really have not been doing well with my eating. I seem to let a lot of different things get in the way. I know I shouldn't, but I do. I need to get my butt in gear and focus. I really need to improve my health. I am not in trouble yet with diabetes, cholesterol, etc., but it is only a matter of time. My blood pressure is already moderately high.

This week has been a really sad week for me. It seems like there has been a lot going on, not just with me, but also my family and friends. Although I won't get into it here if you are reading this, please keep my family and friends in your thoughts and prayers. Believe me when I say they are needed. It is going to be a very difficult time for many.

Have a great week! :)

Returning

Now my back is definitely more manageable. It is feeling better every day. Unfortunately, I used my back as an excuse to eat with no abandon. Today was the first day since last Sunday that I have watched what I am eating. Although I have done some form of walking since last Wednesday, I have been eating a bunch of junk. I really do not know why I keep eating the way I do. It is like I am punishing myself for all of my faults. I also use food as a comfort. Obviously, I have issues...

This morning, I met a really great group of women to walk at the Hoover Dam. It was actually a lot of fun! Before I knew, we had walked two miles and were making plans to get together again. One of them is taking tennis lessons and wants everyone to give it a try. I may have to pick up a racket. Hopefully my tennis skills are better than my badmitton ones!

Well, that is about it for my rantings for today. I will report my progress on the scale tomorrow. I fully expect to have a big gain, but that is my own fault. C'est La Vie!

Well it is official. My doctor has put me on bedrest until Wednesday morning. NOT GOOD!!! I am on muscle relaxers and a steroid to help with the inflammation in my back. I am not even allowed to drive while on the muscle relaxers! This really really sucks.

I plan on watching several movies and reading a few magazines and books while on limited activity. I am already bored though. :(

In better news, I did lose 2 pounds. Go me!

Ugh

Well, I think that I am going to have to put exercise on hold. It seems that I have irritated my back again. Great. I am just going to rest today and hope for the best.

After thought

Wow. I was just reading my past entries and realized that I have really been struggling! I guess that is what happens when you are making a lifestyle change. I know that it will take a lot of time and dedication. I will have my setbacks, but I will get up, dust myself off, and start again. I CAN DO THIS!

Sunday Morning

Well, this weekend has not been the greatest for me eating wise. I had an unconventional dinner last night of Graeter's Ice Cream. That is the last time that I buy the pints and say I am only going to have a half a cup! I haven't journaled either, which I said I was going to do! I am going to sit down today and figure out the damage.

I did go for a long walk yesterday morning with the dogs. Teddy and Hannah were wore out, which was nice! I was supposed to meet a group of walkers this morning at the Hoover Dam, but it was cancelled due to the weather. I may go to the mall and become a mall walker for the day. :) I just feel the need to move. I wish that the treadmill was in the house instead of the garage because I would use it instead. However, it is too heavy to move by myself so it will stay in the garage.

Well, today is a new day, so I will make the best of it. I will stay within my calorie allotment and get up and move.

Enjoy your Sunday!

Progress

Well, I have lost 1.8 pounds in the first week, which isn't too bad considering I didn't really stick to my calorie allowance this past weekend. My mom was in town, and I just ate whatever. However, we did TONS of walking on Saturday and Sunday. That definitely helps!

This week, I am reading the VTrim, Eating Well book. It actually makes a lot of sense. I really need to concentrate on changing my mindset. I have a really bad tendency to minimize how I feel and worry about everyone except me. I also need to believe in myself. It is almost like I am afraid to fail, so in a weird way I sabotage myself. I guess deep down, I feel like I deserve to be unhappy and unhealthy. Obviously, I have issues that I need to work on!

Oh well, for this week I am working on writing down what I eat. I need to be aware of what I am putting in my body.